When someone says he or she wants to take things slow, it can be scary. Relationship architect Shelley Lewin explains that hearing that phrase can leave one wondering whether the person they’re into is really as interested in them as they are.
Taking relationships slow means moving at a pace that’s comfortable for both people. It’s not wrong to take a relationship slowly, but it can be difficult to know when it’s time to push the pace and take things to the next level.
1. Be yourself
It’s not uncommon for people to feel nervous and self-conscious before a date. This can often be reflected in physical outcomes like shaking knees, sweaty palms and blushing.
However, it’s important to remember that confidence is something you can build.
A big part of that is learning how to relax. Practicing yoga, swimming or Tai Chi can help you feel more calm and centered when it comes to dates.
When you are confident in yourself, it will be easier to show that to your date. You will be more able to make a strong first impression and get them talking.
2. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
There is a lot of fear behind being vulnerable, but it’s not always the worst thing you can do. It can be a useful way to build trust and establish intimacy with someone you care about.
If you are constantly avoiding vulnerability, then it may be time to take steps to overcome this limitation. Small behavior changes and consistent work with others can help you break the barrier.
Another way to be more vulnerable is to express your true feelings. Doing this often will help you get accustomed to how you feel in different situations.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
One of the best things about online dating is that you can have a conversation with anyone in the world. A well-planned dating strategy can yield long-lasting results. Taking the time to read about your prospective partner’s past can help you to better understand who they are and what they value in a relationship. Similarly, a little bit of friendly competition will go a long way to ensuring that you’re not wasting your hard-earned cash on someone who isn’t a good fit for you. Lastly, a little extra elbow grease will yield big rewards. In short, be a good partner and your mate will thank you for it.
4. Don’t be afraid to say no
If you’re in a relationship and you feel like your guy is taking it slow, it could be a sign that he wants to make sure he’s really serious about you. It’s also a great way to give you time to figure out if you’re compatible and whether you have similar values and goals.
One way to do this is to set a deal-breaker list of things you won’t tolerate in a relationship. This will help you avoid potential pitfalls, such as a man who has credit card debt or a history of addiction.
It can be difficult to say no, but it’s important for your health and happiness. It can also boost your self-confidence and prevent you from letting others take advantage of you.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice
If you’ve noticed that your date is asking to take things slow, it might be a sign that they’re actually interested in the relationship. However, it’s important to be cautious and take this request into consideration.
The main reason for this approach is that it allows your date to build up a stronger connection with you at a pace that works for them. This way, they won’t have to rush into a serious commitment with you right away and may be more likely to open up emotionally.
If you’re not sure what to ask for, consider starting the conversation with something as simple as a question about her pet peeves or giggling at a stupid dad-joke. These types of questions are open-ended and will allow you to get to know your date’s personality more deeply.